Meghanarchy

So that on day 365, we would know where we were and what we were doing.

My friend, my best friend, asked me what day I was on my 365 project. Day 193. A little over half way. Time in general has been freaking her out and how fast it’s been going and how everything is changing. So this is me. Marking today down for us. 

I’m 22. Birthday in a little bit but we don’t have to harp on it. Not a huge deal. I am working at a restaurant in my town and a community center in the next town over. School is about to resume in about a month. I have an upcoming trip to Austin, Texas and I couldn’t be any more jazzed. Well I could. I’m sure that time will come the week before I go.

Here it is:

A few months ago, I reached a definitive moment in my life. I could have kept going the awful, stagnant direction I was- or I could make a few minor changes and let the rest fall into place. I decided to make the changes. I moved back home in October and started school in January. For now, my plan is to become a high school creative writing teacher. I have a ways to go but I’m motivated. 

My restaurant job is the pits lately. New general manager is making it awfully hard on the employees. I’ve been there two and a half years. And I think it’s time I move on. I’m banking that the community center can give me enough hours this fall so I can leave the restaurant. 

Artistically, I’m trying to go through a transition. I’ve always written socially satirical pieces. Funny performance pieces that rope the audience into my own world where they can understand and hopefully identify with my struggles and disgust of society. I don’t know where I’m trying to go. Maybe something more poetic. Use my words more to my advantage than just the humor. I write every day and lately I’ve been lazy. I’ve been in a slump. I still write but I don’t want to write about the same THING so I don’t always write what’s on my mind. This feels dishonest to me. But really, it’s whatever. Or, it’s not.

Romantically, not. There’s nothing to say here. Nor do I feel the need to plaster it about, but I will say I love the freedom of being single. I’ve never been single before. Not since I was 14. I don’t think relationships are right for me these days. I don’t like the person I become when I’m in a relationship and I don’t like what the man becomes either. But really, it’s more for myself. I’ve been trying to date but it’s so dull. It’s dull in comparison to meeting poets from the southern middle of America and kissing them before they get on their Greyhound. It’s dull in comparison to midnight drives to the city just to deliver cupcakes to a friend and to stay up til 4am bullshitting about Buffy and eating shitty food in IHOP. So, no, dating has not be fulfilling. Or maybe it was just the kiss I had the other night.

Socially/Artistically, I met my all time favorite poet/performer on the 9th. Big Poppa E. He’s from Austin. He is… amazing. I started writing because of his city’s slam team back in 2000. It’s been a real eye opener in terms of how you’re able to perceive others. And how small the world is. (And how small people are haha).

I don’t know what else is left. I’m in school, I’m working, I’m writing, I’m taking pictures, I’m looking at boys from afar, I’m baking every now and then and I’m happy and proud of the direction my life is going in thus far. Suckaaaaaaaaaaas